Sunday, December 19, 2010

Let me sleep forever.

I've felt so lonely lately. A hopeless romantic at its best.
I went to bed last night with only love on my mind. Hours upon hours went by as I listened to "Edge Of Desire", and various versions of "Sweet Disposition". They seemed to be the only thing that would sooth my emotions, my desperate craving for love. I imagined having someone next to me; no name, no face, just someone who desired my love ~ my heart. Its all I want right now, and all I need. Just someone who wants me because I am who I am; someone who loves me as much as I could love them. I have so much love to give, its hurting my heart having no one to give it to. That hurt ached my heart with a longing desire that seemed to seep into my subconscious. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep dreaming. Various dreams flew through my mind until one, bold, and indescribable, stilled my focus. It felt real... as if she was actually there with her delicate hands holding my face. She laid next to me, eyes closed, our hearts beating in-sync. Time seemed to slow, as my focus was solely drawn upon the lack of loneliness. My first black and white dream. Her skin, pale white, in contrast with the dark eye shadow deepening the image of her eyes. Her precious lips, the only thing in living color, sought mine. And before I knew it, she was gone. My eyes opened and my mind awakened to the world where I sought love. I was awake, alone, lost with thoughts lying in my bed again; left desolate, with only a desperate craving for love by my side. If this is the only way to feel such a love, let me sleep forever.
"Love is really nothing but a dream that keeps waking me." - John Mayer (Edge Of Desire)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Left at a Dangerous Depth

Am I to rot
sink within the earth
left without a shot
of giving my love to another
or will she find her way to me
ever so simply?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Spilled Into Free Fall

My perception of balance
Spilled into free fall
with little to grasp
And much to see
I'm not sure where this force is taking me
Ever falling
Sights on where I once was
And dissipate
I'm falling to my fate
Am I to hit ground
without a sound?
Come to an end
When I was just ready to begin?
Or will I land on my feet
And fall into place easily?
How do you prepare for a landing you are unsure of?
Convince others of a task unheard of
And change the world solely striving on love
Its a sound scene to believe
A job not many achieve
Something that takes a strength deeper than courage
It takes imagination to encourage
Your mind that your heart is sure
Of the life you are to endure

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dropped Silence.

Sounds echo
I drop
The stars chime
I hear cars whispering from a distance
One thought now consumes my mind
the entirety of existence

Thursday, November 25, 2010


I hear my heart beat again
Feelings of emotion suddenly begin to flow
How long has it been?
How long has it been since this feeling, this desire
has stolen breath from me?
Its as if I died
My emotions, deceased
Left alone, and tainted under cold street lights
No one in sight
Nothing changing but slight alterations in ambiance
On the ground, I lie
Cold, darkness dims the lights in my vision
One by one
I am left on chilling concrete
with diminishing hope
I slip into sleep
brought by violent hunger
lack of nutrients to the heart
I fall from the world
My mind barely hanging on to my heart in attempt to heal
in attempt to reconnect what once was
My thoughts cry out
Eyes open
And the lights of the night shift in color
My heart, my blood, pulses
My fingers move, I feel the jagged ground beneath
I feel hope
My heart's desire lights the street that holds me,
once again
Guidance is eminent
My heart fights the weakness in my mind
the weakness in my body
to pull myself up
Limp, and mindless as a zombie
I wander,
in search of only one thing
the one thing, my very blood strives for

I am alive again.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My Heart is of the Night.

I am just a silhouette traced against the night sky
My breath steams, it paints a misty glaze against the moonlight in the air
This outside atmosphere
I look up, and all of my troubles are gone
All of my worries
All of my dispaired thoughts
Shut out by the almighty abyss, above
The stars, the universe
I am silenced
For all of the chaos trapped in my life
Is now minuscule
With no voice at all
I listen as I hear the world go by
And ignore time
Night is what lives
Night is what gives
Me strength
My imagination runs wild as echoes
Display a greatness, neither I nor my problems can compare to
The night keeps me alive
It is my inhaling breath of life
That allows be to exhale collected pollution of society
I can hear its heart beat, its blood flow
With every car in the distance, leaving its trace of streaming sound
With every dog barking, every voice imprinting a pulse,
With every star gleaming, and every plane’s jagged ambiance
I see imagination
I hear answers
I feel the night
For all that it is
My very being, my comfortability with it,
Fills me with hope, life, and inspiration
My heart is of the night.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Ready or Not, Here I Come.

Ready or not
Here I come
Bullets like dreams
A loaded gun
Quick and undeniable
Bold and true
Your predictions, unreliable
I'm coming for you
And a world left
to those who move
a canvas
for artists to pursue
I'm here and I'm ready
to paint this world
With hope, steady
This place needs a change
Something new.

Just you wait and see.

I'm tired of people.
Tired of their stupid, selfish, ignorant actions.
Tired of limitations they put forth.
I'm tired.
Tired of corrupt atmospheres.
Tired of allowing others to place me where I should not be.
Tired of allowing others manipulate my mind.
Its time for change.
Time for Something new.
Something worth living for; a life worth living for.
I have been dropped, pushed, shoved, ignored, discouraged, and let down too many times.
I'm done.
I will not tolerate anymore.
I am myself;
A person aware of what truly matters.
I know what is right.
And I know what is wrong.
You will not stop me from living.
You will not keep me in a simple existence.
I am my own.
One, bold.
I will pursue, and I will achieve.
My dreams are me.
They are who I am and what I live for.
Ignorant boundaries will not limit me.
My pursuit.
My accomplishments.
I plan to change this world.
Make a difference.
And I will.
Just you wait and see.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


lost love
lonely in language
left behind
lacking loquacity
leaving soon
lines leaving
locked learnings
of lowliness

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Dreams Unbound

I just want to slip into my coat
and hide
hide from the world that stares me down
And tells me that I can't
But hiding allows thoughts to corrode
This is not what I plan to create
I lift my head, and silently bow
before I make my move
Nothing will stop me now
I drop my coat
Stare back
Focused vision, dreams unbound
I grab a hold
of a future untold
Speaking the strategy
of where I plan to go
I'm going to do this
And I'm going to do it right
This is the incomparable story
of the beginning of my life.

Unwritten Dreams

Free yourself
Free your mind
Cuz its about time
to let yourself be
do not fall
No, don't even lean
only move forward
soon you will see
A scribbled out past
And a future, clean
One unmistakable
full of unwritten dreams
follow it quickly
for this is the key
this is the path
to set yourself free

Saturday, November 6, 2010

My Heart, A City

My heart, a city
it's breaths consume the atmosphere below
a thin blanket
creating a subtle ambiance, with every echo
Every light
adding to symphonies
of the night
Simply the aftermath
of an imagination on the go
Emotions drive
running through the streets
with no destination
no one to meet
My heart
is seen selectively
from afar
its dimensions, minuscule
simply, a silhouette skyline
back-lit by an energy pool
Where the diversity of lights
add to the city as a whole
Yet keep a common theme
All lit for a goal
A dream
Something to believe in
Something to pursue
My heart, a city
bold and true

Monday, October 25, 2010

Fading Forth

e-chan -

I am just a stranger in a strange land
finding where I belong
finding my way home
I quietly dim into the distance
Just another shadow among many
Yet I move swift
Few take notice
But soon they will see
That shadow is far beyond what they had ever seen
Yet seemingly
Improvising is nothing short of what it's thoughts achieve
Determined, ever reaching for unseen heights
This shadow will not rest until it's image has become night

Cracked Skin

The Jer -
Cracked Skin
I peel
piece by piece
I tear myself apart
until all flesh is gone
I find myself, free
from these given boundaries
from this foreign reflection
which seems more like
a window overseeing someone I'm not
I'm falling apart
Simply, in search to be.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Always breathing

I want to leave this place
Leave in search of somewhere real
Leave in search of something I can feel
Hopefully find someone along the way
Who will understand and cherish everything I have to say
Holding my dreams in their eyes
And my heart in their hand
I want something new
I want to live
the life of the world
I want to touch the sky
From the top of my dreams
Just to prove its all real
I'm going to succeed
I'm going to Live
I'm going to be
who I've always been
but no one's ever seen
I'm going to be me
You're welcome to come along
on this journey to justify living
just find yourself
and in due time
you'll soon see
life as it should be
alive and breathing

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Something About a Woman

Something about a woman,
Captures my attention.
Its not a hot desire,
but rather, a burning love;
A longing fascination.

Something about a woman's smile,
melts my heart,
and makes everything feel okay.
Something about a woman's smile,
ignites an immediate comfort.

Something about a woman's love,
makes life worth living.

Something about a woman's eyes,
tells a story, bold and true.
Something about a woman's eyes,
makes me feel alive.

Something about a woman's image,
captures my attention,
not by the curiosity of lust,
but by the fascination of beauty.

Something about a woman,
Captures my attention.

Friday, September 3, 2010

My Pencil Bleeds.

By Gabriela Camerotti

My pencil writes
It knows
My pencil bleeds emotion
It bleeds thought
My pencil bleeds
Each stroke across
Grows as an addition to this canvas
Creating art within the mind
Painting unreachable images
This pencil defines me
guides me
And moves me
to where I want to be.
My pencil bleeds

The Clarity of Silence.

The Clarity of Silence is Beautiful.
Serene, tranquil
It breathes life
It breathes
Its nature does not consist of judgement
It is not bias
It does not love
It does not hate
It simply, is.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Let me go.

I'm tired of your fucking games.

Tired of listening to you.

Tired of listening to everything your life isn't.

Tired of being used.

Tired of listening to all your bullshit.

I'm not living in your shoes.

So let me be

who I am.

Let me see

the world on my own.

This is not home.

This is you and me,

standing on the corner of a street,

as you point to the right,

you scream "guidance",


on walking through crowds.

I look to the left,

where few are allowed.

I am welcomed there.

Yet, you pull me back

in fear.

You want the dull predictable.

I want the beautiful unusual.

Is that so bad to be me?

Is it so bad to be free,

from everything you were?

Let me go.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I miss you, dear.

Tear (TA.D)

I feel like the night sky,
without the moon's light.
bits of hope still derive,
waiting, oh, waiting,
for you to arrive.
but you're on vacation,
not sure your location,
just half a world away.
I've lost words,
on what to say.
Because I thought I'd be alright,
Turns out,
I needed you most tonight.
Where have you gone?
What have you done?
I'm left cowering,
in the corners of my head.
I feel numb.
but my emotions are not dead.
I count every heartbeat that passes,
And watch my world slowly go by,
in your absence.
I long for you,
in this sepia tinted room,
My bed,
mimics a tomb,
As I lie motionless,
to escape this mess,
to see my thoughts,
come true.
But dreams can only last so long,
Until you fall back into this world,
pigmented and drawn,
to loneliness,
and confusion.
Each night feels like a delusion,
without you,
by my side.
So I sit in my room,
and I hide,
from the world outside.
I create my own,
and imagine you're here.
Its all I can do,
to escape this fear.
The bold truth is,
I miss you, dear.

Friday, August 6, 2010

A lonely imagination.

My imagination keeps me awake
to know I'm alive
It defies sleep
automatic drive
never stops
only slows
it loves poetry
over prose
it loves the way
this song goes
my life and yours
truth leaks
into my hearts core
i see you
in a different light
shaded and faded
into something right
something real
and unreachable
you're unteachable
you are
what you are
and will be
what you be
a future memory
my heart scarred
me feeling afar
for what i cannot
i fear
you're all i've got
when i need you the most
i'm just a lonely ghost
for you to feel my desire
i am tired
tired of having money
for no charity
tired of tasting
the vulgarity
of loneliness
without you
i am a mess
sleeping in shadows
gazing at lights
staying up
every night
in wonder
of your existence
in wonder
of distance
where is your assistance?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Photo above: Crowded Street (DSLRD50)

Do I ever slip passed your mind?
Has the thought of me ever lasted more than a moment in time?

Who are you?

Sometimes I just stare at myself in the mirror for what seems like hours, just wondering who that guy is staring back. I want to know what he's thinking. No matter what, he is always there, mimicking my every move.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Falling Through Hurt.

Hurt rains down on you,

You only want to fall through.

So you lie down,

face to the ground,

closing your eyes,

holding your pillow tight,

Not knowing what else to do.

Try Being It.

Let me know what its like to be free.

Let me know what its like to be you.

Let me know what its like not feeling the world but seeing it,

for all of its good;

try being it.

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